


indulge in you (fully, completely)

by sae_what



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Adrien tends Ladybug's wounds, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Ladrien visits, LadyNoir - Freeform, Ladybug is in love with Chat Noir, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Finds Out First, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Knows, Mutual Pining, Romantic Angst, Sad Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Yearning, but honestly she's smitten by both the cat boy and the sunshine boy, ladrien, repressing romantic feelings for the sake of things staying the same is my cup of t e a, so much yearning, such a sugary ladrien love confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28667472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sae_what/pseuds/sae_what
Summary: Ladybug reveals to Chat Noir a truth she kept for ages: she wants to know him, completely, both in and out of costume. As the fear of dropping his mask triumphs over Chat Noir, Ladybug is compelled to pay Adrien a late-night visit.Despite his insecurities, Adrien slowly realizes just how much Ladybug is honest with how she feels towards Chat Noir. And towards Adrien too.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 25
Kudos: 117





	indulge in you (fully, completely)

**Author's Note:**

> _Slaps fandom_ WHAT ABOUT LADRIEN IDENTITY REVEAL.
> 
> Also, I feel like we tend to forget that Adrien and Chat Noir ARE in fact the same person, and Ladybug loves them both the same 😌
> 
> (TW, blood mention, but not too graphic. Adrien just needs to tend to Ladybug's injury, so she has to be hurt somehow.)

She drew a final breath of relief after the fight, their knuckles meeting meeting together. The mere contact charged electricity from her hand all through her body.

“See you later, m’lady.” He flashed his classic grin that practically melted her.

"Wait." Ladybug wrapped her hand frantically around Chat Noir's wrist, her hands quaking, but she hoped it wasn't too obvious for him. "Before you go."

Chat Noir tilted his head to one side. "What is it?"

"I, uh..." Ladybug's heart pounded against her ribcage, and she absolutely hated it. She endured it, however, gulped down every bit of nervous thought swirling across her mind, and sputtered out the words anyway. "Would you like to meet up at the Eiffel Tower? Right after we've transformed back and refueled our kwamis."

"Up on the Eiffel Tower?" He raised a brow teasingly. “Never figured you’d ask me out for some alone time.”

Ladybug flushed furiously. "N-no! It's just... I need to tell you something. Something serious. I figured the Eiffel was the best place."

Chat Noir's demeanor grew sober. "Is something wrong?"

The glint of worry in his eyes punctured her chest and ate at her core. His eyes were dangerous, truly. They could shatter and break her into pieces, like she was some fragile thing, a piece of linen that could tear apart easily.

"Nothing is wrong! I just... have to tell you something important!" Her earrings blinked. "I gotta go now, kitty. I'll see you then?"

"Yeah," his eyes softened. "I'll see you soon."

Ladybug exhaled, running to the nearest alleyway and offering her kwami a macaron.

"Marinette, are you okay? Your hands are shaking."

She didn't even tell her kwami about her plan to talk to him, but what Tikki thought did not matter. She wasn't going to be swayed by what anyone told her. She was doing this. She was telling Chat Noir.

"I'm... I'm alright!" Marinette forced with a squeak. "Totally okay."

"What do you have to talk about with Chat Noir?” Tikki asked with plain curiosity.

"Oh! Uh, not much. I just... really wanted to see him tonight." With that answer, Tikki just gave a simple shrug with yet a knowing smile.

Once transforming, she felt the spark of electricity run through her body. Transforming usually just felt like second nature, but this time around, the jitter of transformation felt unnerving as her suit wrapped around her goosebump-covered skin and covered her flushed face.

She zipped through the evening sky and red lights until she arrived by the Eiffel Tower. Her partner already arrived, his legs dangling by the edge of it. He looked so carefree. And under the moon and the Parisian lights, he looked so dazzling.

"There's the lady of the hour," Chat Noir provided his very familiar hint of laughter. "So. What was it you were going to tell me?"

Ladybug settled beside him, taking in a gulp of fresh air before speaking. She had been rehearsing for this speech; she trusted herself that this would go well, finally spilling this to Chat Noir.

"I think it's time that we know who we are, under the mask," Ladybug finally spoke.

Chat Noir's eyes widening a few seconds later in realization. "H-hold on. You're serious?”

"Yes." Ladybug met stern eyes with Chat Noir. "I'm serious."

He sighed softly, cracking a crooked grin. “Wow, uh… Are you sure about this? I know how much it means to you to protect our identities-"

"Screw that," Ladybug blurted, before clearing her throat. "Uh, what I meant to say is that... I trust you, more than anything. I-"

She bit down her tongue. Doubt suddenly flooded through her mind. She couldn't possibly say the next words that were festering her mind at the moment.

"What is it?" Chat Noir's eyebrows threaded.

Ladybug inhaled. She had to keep going. "I want to know who you are. I want to know _you_ , fully, completely. It pains me every single day, Chat. I just want to indulge myself in everything that you are. That's... that's not too much to ask for, right?"

Chat opened and closed his mouth, his eyes searching in hers, as if she had the answer for possible words he could utter.

"I can't force you. But... I can't bear this aching feeling anymore." She rested a trembling hand upon her chest, her voice beginning to crack. "I... I don't know what this feeling _is_. I just know that it _hurts_. It hurts so much, it _burns_ , Chat."

Every word that slipped into the thin air didn't seem like it escaped right from her own lips. This wasn't like her. She would usually be a stuttering mess in these situations, but this time around, she was so honest and true. It felt right to be sincere about her feelings for once.

"I... I can't."

The pit of her stomach sank.

He stammered. "I'm so sorry, m’lady. I don't think I can. I just..." He looked down at the palm of his hand, his final words firmer than the previous. "I can't."

"I understand," she attempted.

She did not understand.

"It's fine if you're not ready," she continued.

It was _not_ fine.

Especially when she was more than ready, more than willing to jump in. Drown herself in all that he was, envelope herself in him, and know every bit of who he was.

"But just know that when you're ready, I'll be ready too. I always will be," she finished.

She ripped her gaze from Chat Noir, her eyes burning, and she prayed that he didn't see her eyes begin to water.

"Ladybug, I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you," Chat muttered solemnly. "This hurts me as much as it hurts you."

_Did it?_

"How?" The pinch inside her chest grew more painful, stinging her mercilessly.

"I want to," Chat Noir reassured. "I really do. I just _can't_."

"Why?" Ladybug asked unshakably.

Ladybug couldn't find any answers in his eyes. He simply shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Ladybug. I... I have to go."

As Ladybug watched Chat Noir blur into the Parisian lights, her vision became foggier. A silent, warm stream flowed down her cheeks.

* * *

Chat Noir was fine with the way things were. Things didn't _have_ to change.

The pushing and pulling, forcing his feelings for out of his heart would never help. Any attempts of that served to be pointless.

The adrenaline rush they shared when they fought together, the tiring, tedious akuma attacks. The way they exchanged glances during combat as if they knew what the other was thinking. The patrols. The late night conversations. The laughter they shared when he'd tell a cheesy joke. The way they reassured each other when caught in a gutter of insecurities. The simple connection, the friendship.

Pages and pages between them, all flooded with these unforgettable moments, these memories that Adrien would cherish endlessly.

The memories that proved that he in fact had every reason to be in love with her.

He didn't need anything more. They didn't have to know each other behind the mask.

 _Ladybug_ didn't have to know who he was behind the mask. As much as he wanted to tell her, as much as it hurt to see her break right in front of him, he couldn't.

Chat Noir wasn't prepared. _Adrien Agreste_ wasn't prepared.

To put her through such a struggle to deal with someone like Adrien. As vulnerable as him. As fragile, as pathetic.

Someone who was too emotionally attached, too dependent. Too clingy for Ladybug's own good.

Someone who was too messed up.

She deserved better.

If Chat Noir dropped his mask, it would be all over. He'd feel exposed, give away every little thing that he absolutely hated about himself.

But none of this could hurt as much as the sorrow that was coated in Ladybug's voice that night.

It was impossible. Ladybug couldn't possibly care to know him this much, just as much as his heart urged to know who she was too.

This wasn't right.

He couldn't bring himself to believe in such a beautiful lie.

* * *

Marinette felt too hot under her blanket. She pealed it away from her. Now she felt too cold.

Running a hand across her sweaty face, she pulled herself out of bed after hours of tossing and turning. The moonlight leaked through her window fiercely, as though a reminder that it was the same moon that she and Chat Noir would admire and sit under every night during patrols.

Just the thought of something so minute brought a prickling feeling in her chest, something blossoming yet hurting, like rosebushes blossoming and damaging every fiber inside of her with their ruthless thorns.

Her hand grazed against a photograph that had hung on the wall. Just one photograph. Marinette had just settled with one. Too many photos was overkill. But this one was her favorite of Adrien's.

It was a photo of him and his mother.

He had shared it a while back, perhaps a few months ago. During that day, Marinette found him missing her mother, and he had given her a copy of this photo. It was light, innocent. Her mother's chin rested upon the top of his head. His face glowed, his eyes glistened, his smile so natural. Marinette could just feel the pure joy that Adrien when this photo was taken.

And she felt in her heart drawn, compelled, to just see her friend.

Gently, she shook Tikki awake, whispering apologetically, "Can we go outside for a bit?"

Tikki, despite sluggish confusion, nodded her head. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Marinette replied simply. "I just need some fresh air."

From her balcony, Ladybug swung through the quiet city and followed the very familiar path towards the Agreste mansion.

Marinette was _insane_. There was no way Adrien was awake at this time. What would Adrien do in this situation anyway? How could she possibly bring herself to be with him when she was such a mess? It was awfully selfish of her; she couldn't stand herself to do this. Nonetheless, her arms ached from the swinging of her yo-yo, and continued her way forth. Her lungs stung from the cool autumn air as she attempted to take in calming breaths.

She thought about Adrien sleeping. And his eyes fluttering open when she'd see him. She imagined his gruff, tired voice.

A call of her name. A teasing in his tone. Refreshing kindness. Green eyes. Beaming smile. Hair. Hair like the sunrise, soft, complimented with the morning skies. Something that was so familiar in Adrien, but just as familiar in...

Her knees skidded upon a roof tile, the gravity and lack of balance taking over. Ladybug yelped, frantically hurling her yo-yo until it wrapped around a chimney. She swung from the building thoroughly, however, and she released a sigh of relief.

She shook her head, as though doing so would shake away her intrusive, irrational thoughts. Then, a sudden shock of pain stung from her knees, feeling something damp drip to her ankles.

The fabric of suit on her knees were ripped, revealing bare skin and blood. She winced through her teeth, but endured the pain once she reached her destination.

Perched on his windowsill, Ladybug knocked.

* * *

Adrien sighed as he finally suspended himself from scrolling through his phone mindlessly. Mindless scrolling apparently wouldn't rid of the thoughts that prevented him from a peaceful night.

He contemplated getting some fresh air. Perhaps a quick run around the city would ease his mind for a bit. He turned to Plagg, who snuggled on the edge of his pillow.

"Let's go outside," Adrien uttered as he poked his kwami awake.

Plagg rubbed his eyes. “Wha…”

“Please?”

His kwami readjusted his vision as his gaze focused on his window. "I think that might have to wait, kid. You've got a visitor."

Adrien squinted, a figure of red zoomed from outside then slowed, and finally stopped.

He gasped, throwing his blanket back on top of him until he heard a light knock.

"Plagg," Adrien whispered, his eyes peaking through his covers. "Confirm with me. Ladybug is outside my window, right?"

"She sure is," he said flatly.

Adrien cleared his throat, cuing Plagg to hide. His bare feet met the cold floor, slowing approaching the window as his heart raced.

The universe really wanted to see Adrien in this much pain, if it had decided to bring Ladybug outside his home during these hours. Blue eyes met green, and just this trivial act pulled away every strip of his confidence, a strike of red heating the tips of his ears.

Cracking the window open, Adrien allowed the cool draft to seep into his room. "L-Ladybug! What are you doing here so late?"

Ladybug shrugged, her cheeks flushed pink, most likely from the cold. Definitely from the cold. "I could ask you a smiliar question. I saw you were awake. Is something keeping you up?"

_You have no idea._

Adrien rested a nervous hand behind the nape of his neck. "Yeah, I guess it's just one of those nights. What brings you here...?" His words faded as his eyes traced down onto Ladybug's scraped knees. "You're hurt! What happened-?"

Ladybug flailed her hands in front of her, her face growing redder. "No, it's nothing! It doesn't hurt too much-!"

Before Ladybug could retort, Adrien had already ran to the bathroom, retrieving alcohol wipes, a wet towel, and bandages.

"You can sit on my bed," he instructed gently. "I'll tend your wound."

"Adrien, really, you don't have to. I'm fine-!"

"Ladybug." The worry in his voice must have been enough to convince her. She released a defeated sigh as she sat on his bed.

He folded his legs on the floor, wiping away dry blood with the damp towel and pressing the alcohol wipe onto her scrape. She winced, the slight sound and the warmth of her skin beneath Adrien's fingertips bringing a harsher red upon his cheeks.

"I'm sorry if it burns," he said. "Alcohol usually helps with disinfecting an injury as bad as this."

"It's alright," Ladybug replied, despite how her expression tightened whenever he pressed the wipe onto her skin. The simple sight of her would serve as a challenge to keep him calm, his breath and heartbeat accelerating.

Adrien wrapped the bandage around her knees. "Too bad there was no akuma to call out your Miraculous cure, huh? Otherwise, your wound would have been fixed."

He bit his tongue, hoping that his statement wouldn't give away more than what Ladybug knew. Instead, Ladybug let out a light-hearted chuckle. "Yeah.”

"What were you doing so out late at night?" Adrien asked, a coat of concern lacing his voice.

Silence jarred between them, until Ladybug finally decided to respond to the question. "I wanted to see you."

After pressing tape onto the bandages on both knees, he met her eyes. In them glimmered a trace of tranquil ecstasy.

"M-me? How come?"

Ladybug pursed her lips, her eyes roaming as if the right words were hiding somewhere in his room. "I've had a lot on my mind. I just wanted to distract myself with what’s been goin on, I guess."

"Oh," he managed lamely. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ladybug shook her head. "I'll just indulge myself. Just be here. With you."

"I would like that." The corners of his lips tugged into a smile. He sat beside her as he settled the leftover bandages on his nightstand.

"Why do you even have that? It's not like you get injured too often, right?"

Adrien exhaled a low giggle. "You'd be surprised with how careless I really am, Ladybug.”

She crossed her arms. “Why, are you clumsy?"

"Not clumsy... Just thoughtless sometimes," Adrien admitted. It was a habit for him to transform as Chat Noir during his free time and test out new stunts for fun. At times, he'd succeed. Other times... well.

He could never reveal that to Ladybug though. The conversation he had the other night crossed his mind suddenly, and all at once, a pang of guilt and discomfort fizzled in his chest.

"You..." Ladybug hesitated to speak, until she decided not to bite back on her words. A smile softened her face. "You remind me of someone. When you said that."

Adrien's stomach twisted in a knot. "Oh, really?"

"Chat Noir... He..." Ladybug paused, her eyebrows furrowed in thought, but the smile never fading from her expression. "He's so thoughtless sometimes. He's sacrificed a lot for me. I just wish that he would allow me to do the same for him."

"I don't think he'd want to," Adrien spoke easily, knowing exactly what to say to that. "You're too important to him. He doesn't want to risk losing you."

"I can't risk losing him either," Ladybug defended. "He's important to me too, just as much, if not more. I can't tell you how much it hurts me to know that he doesn't see how much I love him."

The last words spoken were unexpected, a wave of fear washing through him. “You love him?"

"More than anything." Ladybug's sorrowful eyes contradicted the upward tug in the corners of her lips. "I can't say he feels the same. I really wanted to know who he was, I still do. I want to embrace all of him, everything about him. I'll love him unconditionally, even once he drops his mask. But... he won't allow that. He's too..."

"He's too afraid," Adrien finished, with hot pinpricks in his eyes.

Ladybug released a sigh. "I guess I should simply indulge in loving him longer, despite how he feels. That should be enough, right?” She then spoke carefully. "When you love someone that way, do you think it's selfish to ask for mutuality?"

Adrien bit the bottom of his lip, hot tears slipping past the bags under his eyes. "Ladybug." His voice cracked, but he didn't care. "Why are you really here?"

"I came to see you, Adrien-"

" _Ladybug._ Please," Adrien pleaded her with marble eyes. "Why are you here?"

She sighed, running a hand down her face. "I'm so selfish. I should have allowed you to admit it yourself before I barged in here. I'm sorry... Chaton."

"How... When did you figure it out?"

"It just... It made sense," Ladybug said. "It just fit together perfectly. I don't know how else to explain it. I guess I've always known.”

"Why would you love me even after knowing?" Adrien slipped, his head feeling light. He was living some kind of beautiful lie. None of this was real. She couldn't possibly be in love with him, even after being face-to-face with a maskless Chat Noir.

With a slight delay, Ladybug enveloped her hand on his, comforting them with blissful, criminal warmth. "Adrien Agreste. You are naive. You're stubborn, you're reckless, you can't think twice most times, and you're dense. Very dense. You'd think for someone as intellectual as you, you wouldn't be this dumb with picking up social cues. And yet, you are. Also, you kind of suck at Ultimate Mecha Strike III."

Adrien let out a sigh of humor. "Ladybug, what..."

"But with all that, you're also my best friend. You're my partner, fighting crimes together. You're the person who cracks the stupidest jokes, thinks up of the stupidest puns, and yet none of them ever fail to make me grin until my face hurt."

"But that's all Chat Noir, I'm not like tha-"

"Stop that. You _are_ Chat Noir, Adrien. You're the most Chat Noir that's ever Chat Noir'd." Ladybug urged, shaking her head with an unbreakable smile. "You know how I know that? Because Adrien Agreste is just as kind. Adrien is the boy who hand-crafted me a lucky charm bracelet. Adrien is the one who is patient with me whenever I stutter. He's the one who opened up to me about his home life, even though I knew how hard it was. That's all _you_. Adrien supports Marinette Dupain-Cheng in every possible way, as much as Chat Noir does with Ladybug."

Adrien blinked with realization, the heat they shared between their fingers burning up. "Wha...Marinette...? You-?"

Ladybug nodded, her eyes becoming glossy, her toothy smile practically melting him. "And I'd do the same for you. In and out of costume. Because in and out of costume, I love you. Adrien Agreste, I love you so much, and it pains me that you can't allow me to love you completely, fully. To love all of you. I love you as Chat Noir and as Adrien. Because they make up you. _You_ , entirely."

Letting go of her grasp felt cold, but he had to wipe away his tears. He had to indulge himself in the view of her.

"You were right about one thing," Adrien finalized. "I _am_ dense. It was so obvious it was you, Marinette."

"You would have figured out eventually, Chaton," she stated without a doubt.

"I can't believe the girl I was in love with was literally sitting right behind me in class everyday."

Ladybug wore aa crooked smile, dumbfounded. "You... you love me back?"

Adrien humored her past his tears. "Now who's the dense one, m'lady?"

She rolled her eyes. "Still you."

They shared laughter, then shared one breath as Ladybug cupped her hand against Adrien's jaw. Lips inched closer until they collided, glided together as Adrien's breathing quickened and intensified the heat between them.

And as he deepened the kiss, he silently swore on oath unto himself. He promised himself that she was allowed to love him wholly, just as he was with her. Just this once, at least, he would indulge in the joy of being himself, with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello, I am very sleep-deprived, but this is what happens when Ladrien


End file.
